Adam Carolla – Women Like Assholes – Ken Halsband
I enjoyed the movie Waiting a few years ago, and until now, I had no idea that there was actually a sequel made called Still Waiting. That is, until Jake sent me a link to the above video after I told him about how I listen to the new Adam Corolla Podcast several times a week! I have always enjoyed Adam Carolla and his humor ever since I watched him on MTV’s loveline and the Man Show. I became reunited with him when he came on ESPN’s Sports Guy podcast with Bill Simmons and when he announced that he was taking the podcast plunge on Bill’s show, I subscribed to the podcast immediately.
I listen to his podcast nearly every day, even though it’s really not about anything. It’s pretty much about nothing; almost like the Seinfeld of net radio. This is where Jake got the idea to send me this clip. I had been telling him about how Carolla’s podcast revolves around 2 topics: Him Growing up in North Hollywood and playing football, and his rants about stupid people. Mix in an all-star cast of guests and Adam’s quick wits, and you have a great way to kill an hour each day. After only listening to the podcast, I was beginning to think that this was all Adam was good for; quick witted humor, but nothing that’s laugh out loud funny. This clip changes that notion in a major way.
On to the clip at hand. In this clip, from Still Waiting, Carolla is on a TV screen as a Seduction Guru named Ken Hallsband. He’s a very crude man who seems to be overly confident with his ability to seduce women. Pretty hilarious, since I don’t really picture Adam Carolla as the type of guy who seduces women. He’s sort of like a combination of Donal Logue in the Tao of Steve, mixed with Tom Cruise’s Frank T Mackey character from Magnolia. Only far more crude.
Rather than trying to do the clip justice, I’d rather just give you a few lines from the movie:
“You know us men. We make more money, we reach higher management positions…. and what do women have? Menstration? Take it, it’s yours! Pregancy – oh, dear me! You mean I don’t get to lactate? Perfect! I’m Ken Halsband, and in the next 45 minutes, I’m going to change your life.”
“Obviously you want chicks that will put out, so we have to establish a hierarchy. Take these two over sipping the water. You want a bunch of sober chicks who will be peeing all night? Not likely, unless it’s on you.”
“If she’s willing to risk lung cancer, she’s willing to risk an STD… and THAT’s a good thing”
“One cross – loves jesus. Four crosses, hates stepdad; loves c0ck”