This one is hot off the presses and very timely.  Lindsay Lohan, America’s favorite celebrity to Gossip about, and fresh off a break-up with Samantha Ronson, has decided to do a fake eHarmony profile for the Funny or Die website.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Video

In the video, she addresses all of the rumors about her, claims that she is not broke (she actually has $400 in the bank and 20,000 Marlboro miles) and she looks absolutely smokin’ hot!  Even if the rumors are true that she’s broke, I think Lindsay Lohan will manage to get by on looks alone.   Plus, she’s obviously got a great sense of humor about herself (or at least a publicist who has coached her in how to directly address the rumors about her life.

Plus, Lindsay is looking really good in this video.  Throw in her throaty voice and the fact that she’s talking about losing her underwear on the first date, and I think Lohan will manage just fine.  Call me!

Some good lines for those of you who Googling quotes from this video:

“I’m an actress, a singer, an entreprenuer, and I single-handedly keep 90% of all gossip web sites in business.”

“I’m a workaholic, a shopaholic, and according to the state of California; an alcoholic, as well as a threat to all security guards if they work at hotels.”

“I am not broke; I actually have $400 in the bank and 20,000 Marlboro miles, which I’m quite proud of.”

“If you think you can handle a red head with a little bit of sass, and by that I a redhead that’s crazy (I mean, don’t act like you don’t know me, we’ve all read about it)”

“I promise you that at the end of the day, I don’t lose my Google hits; just my underwear.”